My hatred of the skinny girl.

Running into a childhood friend I haven't seen since high school today made me feel fat and frumpy.

Depressing.

Makes me want to curl up in a giant hoodie and eat cheesefries.

What a vicious cycle.

Effed in Effingham

Is there a better place on earth for someone to use your
stolen debit card number than at Kmart in
EFFINGHAM, ILLINOIS?

I think not.

*sigh*

What happens in Vegas... ends up on my blog

Last week Manny and I flew to Las Vegas to spend part of Jeni's spring break with her. I've tried to go down about once a year since she's moved there. I really like Las Vegas, something about it just makes me excited!
There are several things that I HAVE to do each time I go down: eat at Cozymels, shop the outlet malls (Hurley, Billabong, Volcom!), go to Yoko Sushi, spend quality time with Jeni :) I think we've added a couple more this trip that are must-dos!
Here are a few highlights from our trip.

---

Going Out!
The night we got to Las Vegas, we went to a classic rock cover band, Yellow Brick road at Green Valley Ranch Casino. They were soooo good! The lead singer sounded just like whoever he was impersonating, and the band was excellent! They had a member that played the keyboard, guitar, fiddle, flute and saxaphone. It was worth every penny. Oh wait, it was FREE. I love that about Vegas! If you know where to go (and have a local tourguide) you can do a lot of cheap stuff.

The next night, we checked out the Artisan and the new M Resort. One thing I love about Vegas is getting all dressed up and going out on the town. I didn't go to bed before 3 am the whole time we were down there!

---

The Yard House
We went to an amazing restaurant/bar called The Yard House for lunch one day. I had an amazing Ahi sandwich (I managed to eat raw fish every day we were down there :) Besides having awesome food, the place boasted 140 beers on tap. Coming from Utah, that is quite the astonishing feat. The taps went around two large areas in the middle of the bar, and the lines went up in the ceiling and over to the keg room. I had Kirin Ichiban on draft, which is one of our favorites to have with sushi, but it's always bottled, and Manny had the house Hef, and a Tecate.

---

Yogurtland
We stopped at a place called Yogurtland in a new shopping center on Thursday. Jeni kept raving about it, but I kept thinking "what's so great about frozen yogurt?"
I had no idea. There are probably 15 different yogurt flavors to choose from, and a TON of toppings you can put on your yogurt. The best part is, that it's all self-serve, so you can mix and match whatever yogurt you want in your cup, and however much you want, and put on toppings at your discretion. They weigh your cup at the end and you pay by the ounce! It was really cool. I loaded up on lots of fresh fruit. SO YUMMY!

---

IN-N-OUT burger
If you've never experienced the In-N-Out burger.... I'll let author Tucker Max do the honors of describing it for you:

"Halfway to Vegas, in some shit-bag cow town called Barstow, Junior tells me to exit the highway and pull into a place called "In-N-Out." I was not impressed: "Dude, where are we going? This place looks like shit."

I have only fallen in love three times in my life, and the first bite of that Double-Double was one of those times. The crispy bun complimenting the cool lettuce, the special sauce accentuating the fresh tomato, the sweet meat mixing with the salty cheese, all of it coming together in a harmonious medley of flavor thus far unseen on the American fast food landscape - I was smitten. It was the single greatest fast food meal in the history of civilization. Even though I was full, I immediately ate another Double-Double. I was nearly in tears at this meal, it was so transcendently excellent. Those f*#!ers should hire me as a spokesman." Tucker Max - I hope they serve beer in hell


Hmmm... I'm noticing that most of this blog is about food!

Bloodshed

The weed wars of 2009 have officially commenced.

I obtained a gallon of RoundUp on Saturday in preparation for the upcoming assault.

I courageously marched out to the battlefield today, weapon in hand, hoping to get a jump on all the wee little bastards that infiltrate thy lawn every year.

To my great dismay, they have already begun their hostile takeover.

You may have won this battle, ye clovers, but this war is far from over.

Dear Mom....

I called my mom Saturday afternoon to give her the great news.
There was a 0% chance that I would ever be a stripper

She asked me how I came to this conclusion, and I informed her that myself, Erica and Kami had taken a pole 'fitness' class that morning, and we'd left feeling like we'd been mugged.

I have a pole burn on my wrist that claimed
a good sized piece of flesh,
a bruise on my foot,
a skinned knee from where my graceful self
ran into the floor, and every muscle in my body
has decided to take a vacation,
causing me to involuntarily trip, spasm and cry in my sleep.

And so, dear mother, your darling daughter shall never take up occupancy on another pole as long as she lives.

(Which, with any luck, won't be much longer
since I've been begging for death to take me!) ;)