Today I had an imaginary conversation with an imaginary doctor.
I said, "Doc, I got a problem. Sometimes, when I'm on the interwebz, my heart starts racing and I break into a cold sweat. I think I have blood pressure issues. It runs in the family."
Doc Said, "Does this happen every time you're on the interwebz, or does it happen when you're on a specific website?"
I thought about this for a minute and answered, "Facebook."
"Hmmmmm." He says, "I've seen this before."
"You have?! Is there a cure?!!"
"Yes. You must delete or hide all your crazy conservative acquaintances that post bullshit illogical and unfounded status updates including but not limited to: President Obama being Muslim, President Obama being an illegal immigrant, President Obama personally taking away loaded guns hidden under their mattresses, President Obama being a Nazi, President Obama leading a secret Communist Regime, President Obama killing Grandmas, Nancy Pelosi being a zombie child-eater, and Health Care reform leading to the apocalypse."
"....... No shit?"
"No shit."
So, crazy rabid christian conservative acquaintances: I'm sorry if I miss a status update that has worth. I'm sorry if I miss a post about how your child graduated kindergarten, your new car or how your great-aunt died. I had to hide you all for my health.
I'd hate to have an aneurysm and find out what death panels are like.
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