My profound lack of motheringishness

Yesterday I was folding laundry and heard the fridge open and shut, followed by numerous cupboards.
I poked my head around the corner to see Brayden in a fit of desperation.

"Uh.... Is there any snacks"

"Did you look in the cupboard?"

"Well yeah."

"Did you find anything?"

"No."

"Dude, there's like, graham crackers, goldfish crackers, chips, granola bars, fruit snacks....."

"Uh, I have that stuff every DAY. Isn't there anything good?"

"Whatever. That stuff is awesome. Just eat it."

*sigh* "Alright, I guess I'll just have graham crackers with milk...."

"Yeah... about the milk..."

*sigh*

".....sorry pal."

As he gathers his crackers with OUT milk and his attitude, he saunters into the living room for Sesame Street or Today's Special or whatever the kids these days are watching.

What I was left realizing, is that it is completely beyond my comprehension to speak to kids like normal people do.

I have one inflection, and it's standard for everyone.

Maybe starting with babies makes it easier to grow with them and talk on their level, but I started with a 5-year-old.

If they learn anything from my profound lack of motheringishness, I would hope that it would be they are able to be treated like adults and not be coddled.

If I learn anything, it would be that I should really try to keep milk around.